I never grew up cooking. The most cooking or baking exposure I got was being forced to make blueberry muffins for my older brother John (still awesome at making those I will say) and baking pies with Grandma Lillywhite. Both things I am pretty dang good at making. Because I was TAUGHT at a YOUNG age how to make them. My mother loved to cook and was a pretty good cook. But she always kicked us out of the kitchen so she could do it her way and because we always had small kitchens and we just got in her way.
But here is the real reason why I hate making food that requires more than a microwave or boiling water... There is so much time and work put into preparing and making a meal. This generally creates stress on me, one because I don't know what I'm doing, and two, because I don't know what I'm doing, it takes twice as long to get a finished product. It is a risk every time because I have no idea if it is even going to taste good. When we finally sit down to enjoy the finished product, it NEVER meets up to my expectations. I always feel like I have been cheated. That for how much time and ingredients that I put into it, this meal that we are eating should be 10, if not 20 times better than what it really is. And whatever I cook, no matter how exact I follow a recipe, never ever cooks the way the recipe says it is supposed to.
For example... yesterday I slaved away in the kitchen all day. I decided to get bold and make lemon curd. It was a easy level recipe and all the reviews raved about how easy and delicious it was. Not only did it take more than 3X the time it was supposed to, it didn't turn out AT ALL. I ended up with sweet lemon soup. It was good, but useless. After my failed attempt I still had enough drive- and not really a choice haha- to cook dinner. I tried a recipe I found on Pinterest-also supposed to be "easy." It too took 3X longer to make and cook than it was supposed to. And again, I was not as fully impressed as I had hoped and dreamed to be with it. It seems that after everything I make I find Ryan and I talking about all the things we would change and do different to it to make it better the next time. AHHH, the next time?! Which means I have to go through it all again to MAYBE get a better result the next time. It's very exhausting.
Ryan always teases me when he has to leave for awhile because he knows I basically eat frozen food or cereal. He thinks it's because I'm too lazy to make a full dinner for myself and I might have agreed with him until now. Now I know that it isn't because I'm lazy. It's flat out because I don't feel like I get out what I put in. I feel cooking to be a waste of my time. I know exactly what I'm getting out of pouring cereal in a bowl and find that the costs are equal to the rewards. Whereas cooking a full out meal, for only one person, is a lot of cost for little or less of a reward. High costs for little rewards is a terrible business plan. And to be honest... I really do LOVE cereal.
So take that Betty. You go ahead and spend the hours preparing gourmet food that looks, smells, and better yet, tastes delicious. Just know that you are a far greater woman than I probably ever will be. And I'm ok with that. For now, I shall suck it up and continue butchering meals until the day comes that Ryan puts a ban on me from entering the kitchen alone. Fat chance... but I can always dream :)
And if you read this far, I will reward you with embarrassing proof that I really am a pretty bad cook...
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| Yep. Raw in the middle and totally burnt on the edges. Don't even ask... |
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