8 Weeks.. What?!

Holy cow! 8 weeks ago today I had Hailey. It feels like time has just flown by! What have I been doing for the last 8 weeks you ask? Well, in no particular order I have been: changing diapers, getting spit up on, pooped on, and peed on (yes, all of those), walking- and rocking when she lets me- Hailey to sleep, turning myself into a human pacifier, getting less sleep than I ever did in high school (I'm not as young as I once was!), and enjoying my sweet, beautiful, smiley Hailey girl. It has been the hardest 8 weeks of my life, trying me and pushing me farther than I ever thought I could go. But, Heavenly Father has blessed me so much. I have been blessed with patience which I never thought was possible. Ask Ryan!

I have also been blessed with this new ability to love. Don't get me wrong. I have always been a very loving person. But this is different. I love Hailey unconditionally. Even through the screaming and crying, the pooping and peeing, the spitting up on EVERYTHING! and the physical pain that giving birth and nursing has caused me. I would still do anything for that little girl. But I have also found a new love for Ryan. I see him as my husband but also as a father now. Now before you go thinking to yourself, well duh Jena, of course because he is a father! I mean this differently. Any man can be a father in the biological sense. Then there is a man who can be a father by being the "man of the house" and providing for his family. But I'm talking about the active father. Not only is he the provider and protector, but he cares. He is the man who wants to be involved in his child's life. Who sincerely loves his family. This is most certainly Ryan. He wants to, not asked to, hold and play with Hailey. It brightens up his day when Hailey smiles at him and recognizes him. He is willing to change a diaper and back when nursing wasn't going well and I had to pump, he got up in the middle of the night to help me feed Hailey. He has always been there through my emotional break downs and has offered to help me with what he can. He truly is amazing and I am so lucky to have married him. I'm also grateful for the opportunity I have had to learn and develop this new kind of love. A strong father figure for my children was a VERY important quality for me when I was picking my husband and I was lucky enough to see that potential in Ryan. I honestly hope he knows how much I love and appreciate him and all his hard work.

So that's what I have learned in the last 8 weeks. Hailey on the other hand has just been growing and getting so big! This is what she has been up to the last 8 weeks.

• eating
• sleeping
• pooping
• growing a ton! (8lbs 9oz two weeks ago! so around 9lbs now)
•  still in newborn clothing but threatening to outgrow that stage (she's getting too long)
• she just found her hands consistently and is trying to become a thumb sucker- occasionally she is successful
•  smiles ALL the time now- it melts our hearts and makes the 5 a.m. feedings totally worth it
• started "talking" or better known as squealing and cooing (so cute!)
• getting great control of her head
• she occasionally will put herself to sleep (yay!)
• blowing spit bubbles
•  and is just getting really fun to be around and play with :)

I can't believe how much she has grown and developed. I feel like I haven't really figured much out and that we are still doing the same things we were doing when I first brought her home, but I can definitely tell she has grown a ton. Days are somewhat more predictable, although she really doesn't like going down for consistent naps, and she still eats about every 2-3 hours which still makes leaving the house and getting a schedule down next to impossible. But it's a learning process. Days are definitely easier now. I can generally shower before 6 pm now, which was not the case when we first brought her home. I love being a stay-at-home mommy though. I really do. I would absolutely die if I had to leave her and go back to work. This job doesn't pay you, doesn't give you insurance, and doesn't give you a day off, but it is so much more rewarding and a whole lot more fun! What other job do you know of that consists of trying to make your baby smile and squeal all day? I love it :) Definitely worth it. I can't wait to see the wonderful, beautiful woman Hailey turns into.