The Luck of the Irish

I won't go into full blown detail but, I have terrible luck. If it can, it will. Always. That is just how things happen to me. And since my husband already posted this on Facebook, I might as well tell the story for memory's sake.

What actually happened to me this time, you might ask? Well poop happened. And not Hailey's poop. No that is expected and not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. No, a bird's poop happened. On me. ON my belly button. Not NEXT to it. ON it.

So here's how it went down. I am leaving for Utah in a week and wanted to get some sun before I head out so I don't FRY like I did last year. So I went outside on our deck to enjoy the sun. I had just laid back and closed my eyes. I even started to smile because the sun felt so good when all of the sudden I felt the plop on my belly. My first reaction was OH MY FREAKING GOSH a HUGE bug just landed on me. *Note* I am TERRIFIED of bugs. Just ask Ryan about "The Beetle" incident of 2011. We don't bring it up... Anywho... I quickly flung my hand across my stomach to hopefully scare the "bug" away before I opened my eyes and ended up screaming and/or crying when I see this "bug." Because it really did feel monsterous. Nope. Instead when I finally work up the courage to open my eyes and face the "bug" I am faced with a monsterous bird poo all over me. It not only was on my belly button but had also splattered up to my chest and on my thigh. So. Freaking. Gross. While I was momentarily relieved that it was not a huge bug, I'm not sure which one was worse.

Literally my jaw dropped. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to touch it, obviously, and I didn't want to stand up and have it drop down me (touching more of me), so I did some kind of funky crab walk and stood up while carefully leaning over to make sure no more poop spread over me. I then went inside to clean up and decide whether or not I wanted to tell Ryan. I knew I would suffer some form of punishment for it if I did. And yet, I still told him. Together we laughed. I laughed so hard I cried and he laughed AT me while assuring me he was laughing WITH me. I'm no dummy. Either way my punishment came moments later when I received and email from Facebook saying "Ryan Gottfredson has tagged you in a message..." And so it came to be that the whole Facebook nation, or at least mine and my husband's Facebook nation, learned about my misfortune.

And what is really the icing on the cake is that my misfortune didn't stop there. I later (after I cleaned up) took Hailey to the mall. When I was getting out of the car I didn't notice that my keys fell out of my diaper bag until I shut all the car doors... after locking them first. Don't worry Hailey was already out. But still, chalk another win up for me that day. I then reached in my diaper bag to call Ryan to bring me my spare set of keys and guess what? I left my phone at home! And put another point on the board for me! So I had to go in the mall and use an employee's cell phone to call Ryan to bring me my keys. Good thing I have such a good sense of humor :)

All I gotta say is thanks mom for giving me the luck of the Irish. I think I could have done without though.