...Then comes marriage

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sugar and Spice- it doesn't always make everything nice

Sooooooo this stay-at-home mommy thing... I'm digging it. It lets me "explore" my womanly skills of being a homemaker. What I really mean is that I get to try my hand at being the next Betty Crocker. Don't worry Betty. Your reign is not at all in danger. I don't really make it a secret that I'm kinda not a fan of cooking, or baking. What I mean is that I kinda don't like it. And what I really mean by that is that I REALLY don't like cooking at all. And I have finally figured out why.

I never grew up cooking. The most cooking or baking exposure I got was being forced to make blueberry muffins for my older brother John (still awesome at making those I will say) and baking pies with Grandma Lillywhite. Both things I am pretty dang good at making. Because I was TAUGHT at a YOUNG age how to make them. My mother loved to cook and was a pretty good cook. But she always kicked us out of the kitchen so she could do it her way and because we always had small kitchens and we just got in her way.

But here is the real reason why I hate making food that requires more than a microwave or boiling water... There is so much time and work put into preparing and making a meal. This generally creates stress on me, one because I don't know what I'm doing, and two, because I don't know what I'm doing, it takes twice as long to get a finished product. It is a risk every time because I have no idea if it is even going to taste good. When we finally sit down to enjoy the finished product, it NEVER meets up to my expectations. I always feel like I have been cheated. That for how much time and ingredients that I put into it, this meal that we are eating should be 10, if not 20 times better than what it really is. And whatever I cook, no matter how exact I follow a recipe, never ever cooks the way the recipe says it is supposed to.

For example... yesterday I slaved away in the kitchen all day. I decided to get bold and make lemon curd. It was a easy level recipe and all the reviews raved about how easy and delicious it was. Not only did it take more than 3X the time it was supposed to, it didn't turn out AT ALL. I ended up with sweet lemon soup. It was good, but useless. After my failed attempt I still had enough drive- and not really a choice haha- to cook dinner. I tried a recipe I found on Pinterest-also supposed to be "easy." It too took 3X longer to make and cook than it was supposed to. And again, I was not as fully impressed as I had hoped and dreamed to be with it. It seems that after everything I make I find Ryan and I talking about all the things we would change and do different to it to make it better the next time. AHHH, the next time?! Which means I have to go through it all again to MAYBE get a better result the next time. It's very exhausting.

Ryan always teases me when he has to leave for awhile because he knows I basically eat frozen food or cereal. He thinks it's because I'm too lazy to make a full dinner for myself and I might have agreed with him until now. Now I know that it isn't because I'm lazy. It's flat out because I don't feel like I get out what I put in. I feel cooking to be a waste of my time. I know exactly what I'm getting out of pouring cereal in a bowl and find that the costs are equal to the rewards. Whereas cooking a full out meal, for only one person, is a lot of cost for little or less of a reward. High costs for little rewards is a terrible business plan. And to be honest... I really do LOVE cereal.

So take that Betty. You go ahead and spend the hours preparing gourmet food that looks, smells, and better yet, tastes delicious. Just know that you are a far greater woman than I probably ever will be. And I'm ok with that. For now, I shall suck it up and continue butchering meals until the day comes that Ryan puts a ban on me from entering the kitchen alone. Fat chance... but I can always dream :)

And if you read this far, I will reward you with embarrassing proof that I really am a pretty bad cook...
Yep. Raw in the middle and totally burnt on the edges. Don't even ask...

Monday, May 14, 2012

In Da Club

Yep. I made it.

I made it into the exclusive mother's club.

Not only am I now allowed to give unwanted advice to any and all pregnant women, not only am I now allowed into the elusive mother's room at church, but I am now officially allowed to celebrate Mother's Day. It's like having two birthdays a year! Both celebrate you, give you presents, and end with cake!-or at least with a desert. The only difference is that Mother's Day doesn't tack on another year to your age and give you new signs of aging (boo on wrinkles).

My very first Mother's Day was quite the success I must say. I think I'll do it again :) It only had one minor hiccup... If anyone sees a gray and white husky running wild and free please contact me... More on that later though...

It started off as any Mother's Day should. With some sleeping in and a gourmet breakfast. Hailey got me up at 6:45 to eat but then went back to sleep until 10. Thank you Hailey girl! Ryan made me eggs even though he really isn't a fan of them and... get ready for this... brown sugar bacon waffles! They were so good! They really did have bacon chunks in them. I very much recommend these, so go look up a recipe for them! During breakfast Ryan gave me my presents. I got a book called "Plant A Kiss" from him and the book "Love You Forever" from Hailey. Very cute! I love the book "Love You Forever." My mom used to read it to us, and the book "Plant A Kiss" is just a cute little book. I can't wait to start reading them to Hailey. Thanks Ryan for helping me on my path to becoming a better mommy!

After breakfast Hailey and I got ready for church (Ryan has to go up early for meetings). When we got to church, our Mother's Day present was that all the women got to go to Relief Society. So those women with callings that take them out of Relief Society got out of them. And, we got to eat some delicious food. I'm always a fan of that! I made it through most of the lesson before Hailey woke up and demanded that I go change her bum... by this I mean she started farting up a storm. It was pretty funny.

After church we went home to get dinner started. We had our version of Cafe Rio pork burritos. So good! After dinner Ryan kicked me out of the kitchen so he could clean up. Literally, he told me to get out of the kitchen, sit on my butt, pick what I wanted to watch on TV and just relax and do nothing. I have an amazing husband :) And after all that he made me dessert! We had homemade oreos. Oh how delicious those little cookies are. Again, I highly recommend them!

During dinner I got a nice little surprise. My next door neighbor, Ashley, and a couple ladies from church gave me flowers and a card to say Happy 1st Mother's Day. They are so sweet! They picked flowers from their gardens and made a beautiful bouquet for me. I am so loved!
These are my fresh cut flowers


After dinner Ryan and I decided to listen to his mother's funeral that they had recorded on a CD. Since I wasn't able to make it to the funeral, I was really glad I was still able to listen to it. It was beautiful and Ryan gave an amazing talk. There may or may not have been a tear or two shed while listening to it. It was really nice to honor Ryan's mom on Mother's Day though. I honored mine by reading "Love You Forever." :)

After we listened to the CD we decided to go for a walk because the weather was so nice. And a walk we did... just not the one we were wanting. Unfortunately, when I opened the door when my neighbor came over, Hoosier ran out. This normally isn't a big deal. He usually plays with the neighbor kids and then comes back inside. This time though, I was out there so long I forgot that he ran out and forgot to call him back inside. So he ran off... and we couldn't find him. We searched everywhere. All around the neighborhood and the one behind us and finally ended up posting signs all over the place. I will say that it is the next day and we got him back! Heavenly Father answers prayers yet again. Thank you again to the wonderful lady who took care of him for us and got him home safely.

All in all I had a great 1st Mother's Day. I can't wait for the next ones! I love being a mommy to my beautiful baby girl. She has taught me so much already and I am excited to see what else is in store for us.
Hailey and I celebrating my 1st Mother's Day. We got a little smile out of her for this one

Thursday, May 10, 2012

In this little white dress...

...Both Mommy and I were blessed

Ok, so this is two (almost 3) weeks late (leave me alone! I have a new baby...) but Hailey had her first real, big day! We blessed Hailey in church on April 29th. It was such a beautiful turn out and a beautiful day. Hectic, but beautiful.

It started off the Thursday before with Ryan's dad flying in. Ryan's brother Gary was also in Indiana for a medical conference that weekend. We had fun showing Hailey off to them and, to be honest, it was really nice to have extra pairs of arms to help hold Hailey, when she would let them that is. Grandpa G. was with us the longest so he definitely got to spend the most time with her. I think he really enjoyed it. We spent the weekend doing a number of things. We introduced Ryan's dad to our home cooked french dip sandwiches (so dang good!) on Friday night, then we met up with Gary and his co-worker in Indy for dinner at the Spaghetti Factory on Saturday. We had a lot of fun with them even though Hailey kinda screamed for most of dinner. It was the first time we had ever taken her out and it actually went fairly well. After she finally fell asleep :) It was fun though!

On our way to Indy though, I got a special phone call. My dad called to tell me he was in town. He and Deborah surprised me! It was so nice and fun to see him. I was really grateful he was able to make it and be apart of Hailey's blessing. Other people who came to be apart of her big day were, Uncle John, Aunt Addi and cousin Sandy, Aunt Tracy and Uncle Jim, Michael and Jamie, Aunt Olivia, (Uncle Dallin was sick that day), Bob and Connie, the Craftons, McQuays, Taylor Wells, James Klatt, Tim Maynes, Bishop Frances, and the Woodwards. We also had some non member friends come support sweet Hailey. Kelsey and Michelle from my work came and Ryan's co-doctoral student Harry came. It was so nice for all our friends and family to be there.

Ok, now for the real story on how the actual blessing day went down...

Ryan and his dad left around 10 o'clock to go pick up Gary and Gary's co-worker Scott. I was left to get Hailey and I ready which actually went fairly smoothly. Ryan and I decided to use my blessing dress to bless Hailey in. 1.) Blessing dresses are freaking expensive! and 2.) we had mine and it is still in fairly good condition so I thought it would be really cool to use it for Hailey too. My dress had yellowed due to age so I spent 2 days soaking it to turn it white again (oxi clean is my new best friend!). It worked and was ready to be worn again. I waited until the last possible minute to put Hailey in the dress because she spits up so much. Luckily once in the dress she kept the spit up to herself and we were able to get a few pictures before we headed off to church. Just our luck, there was an enormous amount of traffic which caused us to walk in right on time and the rest of my family to be late. (Tracy, Jim, Michael, and Jamie were actually so late they missed the blessing altogether and rolled in right after sacrament. They felt so bad!)

As we walk into the chapel-as church is JUST starting- Hailey starts screaming. I mean full on screaming. So I quickly run out and start roaming the halls trying to get her to sleep. Finally I get her to sleep like 5 minutes before she is to get blessed- just my luck we didn't have any announcements or sustainings to stall and buy me some more time. So the moment comes and Ryan takes Hailey and what does she do? Wakes up. Waking up = crying. Yep, Hailey cried through the ENTIRE blessing. I felt so bad for Ryan who must have been nervous. But the blessing was beautiful and the spirit was so strong. Ryan never gets emotional but he did during the blessing, which of course started the water works for not just me but Addi as well, and I'm sure more people. The blessing ends and Ryan hands Hailey back to me and what does she do? She stops crying instantly and falls back asleep instantly... Yep. She is a little stink. It got a few people to chuckle.  Ryan's brother had to leave right after sacrament to catch his flight back home so him and his dad left for the airport.

After sacrament tons of people came up to congratulate me and see Hailey. James Klatt was so nice and actually wrote down the blessing for me and found me to give it to me. I was so happy to have it in writing! So I put it in a pocket of the diaper bag for safe keeping...

Then it was time to chat with the family and tell everyone thanks and all that fun stuff. Deborah wanted to hold Hailey so I handed her off. A little while later as we were trying to decide if we should go home and start getting dinner ready, Deborah announces that she could tell Hailey was pooping. We decided to go home to get stuff ready and I take Hailey to put her in her car seat and what do I see? POOP. All over the back of the dress and the blessing blanket Aunt Aimee made for her. Of course she decided to poop all over it at church and before I could get pictures of her in it with the rest of the family. I rushed off to the mother's room to change my poopy girl. In the process of changing her I must have dropped the copy of her blessing because when I got home to read over it again, it was gone. Heartbroken! So before I forget more of it I will say that it talked about how she will be blessed with the ability to love and she will be a light to us and her siblings. She is a special little girl. Honestly I don't remember the rest but those were the parts that really stood out to me and both Ryan and I felt the spirit so strong when he said that.

Dinner went smoothly (which is really shocking when you put all my family in one house) and we had a great time. It was a funny, hectic, beautiful, special day and I'm so thankful Hailey was sent to our family. Can't wait to see what the next baby blessing will bring... ok, maybe I can... :)

Grandpa Gottfredson
Uncle Gary

In this little white dress, Mommy and I were blessed



Papa Hoss holding Hailey for the first time!









I went a little overboard with the pictures but I couldn't stop snapping the camera!


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

8 Weeks.. What?!

Holy cow! 8 weeks ago today I had Hailey. It feels like time has just flown by! What have I been doing for the last 8 weeks you ask? Well, in no particular order I have been: changing diapers, getting spit up on, pooped on, and peed on (yes, all of those), walking- and rocking when she lets me- Hailey to sleep, turning myself into a human pacifier, getting less sleep than I ever did in high school (I'm not as young as I once was!), and enjoying my sweet, beautiful, smiley Hailey girl. It has been the hardest 8 weeks of my life, trying me and pushing me farther than I ever thought I could go. But, Heavenly Father has blessed me so much. I have been blessed with patience which I never thought was possible. Ask Ryan!

I have also been blessed with this new ability to love. Don't get me wrong. I have always been a very loving person. But this is different. I love Hailey unconditionally. Even through the screaming and crying, the pooping and peeing, the spitting up on EVERYTHING! and the physical pain that giving birth and nursing has caused me. I would still do anything for that little girl. But I have also found a new love for Ryan. I see him as my husband but also as a father now. Now before you go thinking to yourself, well duh Jena, of course because he is a father! I mean this differently. Any man can be a father in the biological sense. Then there is a man who can be a father by being the "man of the house" and providing for his family. But I'm talking about the active father. Not only is he the provider and protector, but he cares. He is the man who wants to be involved in his child's life. Who sincerely loves his family. This is most certainly Ryan. He wants to, not asked to, hold and play with Hailey. It brightens up his day when Hailey smiles at him and recognizes him. He is willing to change a diaper and back when nursing wasn't going well and I had to pump, he got up in the middle of the night to help me feed Hailey. He has always been there through my emotional break downs and has offered to help me with what he can. He truly is amazing and I am so lucky to have married him. I'm also grateful for the opportunity I have had to learn and develop this new kind of love. A strong father figure for my children was a VERY important quality for me when I was picking my husband and I was lucky enough to see that potential in Ryan. I honestly hope he knows how much I love and appreciate him and all his hard work.

So that's what I have learned in the last 8 weeks. Hailey on the other hand has just been growing and getting so big! This is what she has been up to the last 8 weeks.
  • eating
  • sleeping
  • pooping
  • growing a ton! (8lbs 9oz two weeks ago! so around 9lbs now)
  •  still in newborn clothing but threatening to outgrow that stage (she's getting too long)
  • she just found her hands consistently and is trying to become a thumb sucker- occasionally she is successful
  •  smiles ALL the time now- it melts our hearts and makes the 5 a.m. feedings totally worth it
  • started "talking" or better known as squealing and cooing (so cute!)
  • getting great control of her head
  • she occasionally will put herself to sleep (yay!)
  • blowing spit bubbles
  •  and is just getting really fun to be around and play with :)
I can't believe how much she has grown and developed. I feel like I haven't really figured much out and that we are still doing the same things we were doing when I first brought her home, but I can definitely tell she has grown a ton. Days are somewhat more predictable, although she really doesn't like going down for consistent naps, and she still eats about every 2-3 hours which still makes leaving the house and getting a schedule down next to impossible. But it's a learning process. Days are definitely easier now. I can generally shower before 6 pm now, which was not the case when we first brought her home. I love being a stay-at-home mommy though. I really do. I would absolutely die if I had to leave her and go back to work. This job doesn't pay you, doesn't give you insurance, and doesn't give you a day off, but it is so much more rewarding and a whole lot more fun! What other job do you know of that consists of trying to make your baby smile and squeal all day? I love it :) Definitely worth it. I can't wait to see the wonderful, beautiful woman Hailey turns into.